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Lauren Ayers's avatar

When we see instances of free speech being suppressed, for instance when experts tell us that “spouting misinformation threatens public health,” there are some ways that sidestep such righteous indignation and have a real conversation. Here are two —

1. Humor: one of J.P. Sears’ funny spoofs of vaccines might work, such as “Where Did All The ‘Trust the Science’ People Go?”

https://youtu.be/FEADB8deeok

2. Then there’s the OFNR method:

Marshall Rosenberg initially called this method Nonviolent Communication. However, later, to accentuate the positive, he began calling it Compassionate Communication. You’ll recognize the key points of this approach because we’ve all accidentally had such friendly disagreements, but just couldn’t identify what kept the anger from shutting the dialog down. The 4 steps, abbreviated as OFNR, are listed on a cheat sheet here:

www.growingedgesnm.com/uploads/9/7/5 /0/97506900/nvc_cheat_sheet.pdf

For example, I used the 4 steps to request an impatient friend to discuss a controversial topic.

OBSERVATION: "You and I both care about life on Earth, and we agree that humanity has some work ahead to protect our future. Even so, we disagree about something that seems ridiculous to you but in my mind is a real threat.

FEELINGS: "My love for my kids and grandkids motivates me to bring up vaccination hazards with you even though you and I firmly disagree and most likely won’t change.”

NEEDS: "I feel as compelled to discuss this just as you were compelled to encourage all our friends and neighbors to write to our Senators about the hazards of glyphosate herbicide (which I agree is toxic).”

REQUEST: "Here’s my request, if you’re willing to consider it [wait for assent]. OK. The pro-vax message is everywhere in the media and we also hear it from our family physicians and our public health department. My minority view might annoy you, but I dare to ask because I also was once in favor of vaccines. Then, a relative’s reaction after some shots led me to read up on the topic, and I changed my mind.

“Not that I think you should or would change your mind, but it’s possible that you have rarely, maybe never, heard the other side expressed in a calm and tolerant way.

“My request: Although the easiest thing is to dismiss anti-vax people like me, are you willing to spend a few minutes skimming info that changed my mind?"

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